Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
