My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
