matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
