So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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