Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?

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(330): View more from Ohio

She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.

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(314): View more from Missouri

oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.

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(858): View more from California

There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.

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(845): View more from New York

I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.

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