Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
