Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
