She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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