Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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