guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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