2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
