My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
