Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
