I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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