i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
