marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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