Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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