making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
