we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
