some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
