Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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