honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
