Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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