The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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