end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
