well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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