also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
