nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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