I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
