you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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