Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
