we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize