Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
