well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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