A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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