She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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