I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
a search helicopter?!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Randomize