i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dignity is for republicans.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
