so let's talk penis.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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