Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
