so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
