You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
