whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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