i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
then he tried to convert me to islam
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
