last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
This baby is an asshole
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
