would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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