yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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