Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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