So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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