i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
