found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
