she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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