There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
