haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
why do cheetos always look like penises
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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