Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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