i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
