To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
