VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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